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Thursday, August 2, 2012

You May Have Noticed, I'm Not All There Myself

The Other One (please note that this blog does not monitor its language)

*dramatic music*

Just a little introduction, stick with it.  This blog is based around my and Stephani's business, Down The Rabbit Hole, but that's not all it is.  It's about the people that made it happen and the things that happen to the people that made it happen.

Oh yeah, I went there.

If you haven't guessed, I'm the Heather kind.  Sticks and string is my medium.  I started crocheting about a half a year ago and stuck with it.  Which, for me is saying something.  I'll be the first to say I'm not the best at it, but I do think I'm pretty good and try and learn something new all the time.  I fight with my yarn quite a bit, but we usually work things out.
                                
                   Eventually.

I've also started to realize that the apocolypse has begun.  Only, it's not zombies like I expected (didn't everyone?) so all that practical training Stephani and I did will probably go to waste..

                             
                                                      Because we're awesome.
                             

It's spiders.

Yeeg.

I’m not sure there’s anything I hate more thanspiders.  Except maybe styrofoamsqueaking against styrofoam.  If I werefighting a war and the weapons were styrofoam chunks, I’d surrender. 
Anyway, back to creepy arachnids. They’ve been sneaking up on me all day! They’re stealthy little ninja shits. 
                                     

If I we’re fighting a war and the enemy was a mass ofgiant spiders, I’d have a heart attack. Ron Weasley had it right.  Spidersare terrifying. 
And to completely under-mind me, the spiders all gottogether and decided to terrorize me. Hiding in the bathroom at work, spinning a web over my half of the carand trying to snatch my keys, and the worse insult—keeping a post above myfront door.  He’s smart, too.  He makes his web against the wall and thecabinets so that if I get to close with a boot or a bottle of bleach he canduck into a crack.   
That’s right, I said bleach.  I’m the MacGyver of killing 8 leggedcreepies.  Hairspray and a largeboot.  Effective.   Well, usually.  I’ve tried everything I can think of to getrid of this one..  Sneaking up on him, throwingshoes at him, spraying bleach at him, calling him awful degrading names,threatening to charge him rent—nothing works. He just sits in his web and stares down at me or ducks for cover.  I’m sure he’s laughing his creepy little faceoff.

Photo found at www.nataliedee.com

I’ve got my very own Cheshirebeast who constantly has a smile on her kooky face, but then, cats dothat. 

I adore her.
Pinned Image

(Obviously this isn't a self portrait, but it's pretty close!)

I think that's enough "About Me" for a while, I’ve got orders to fill and spiders to kill. And when that second one doesn’t work, I may just name him Gaichu, which according to Google is how you say “pest” in Japanese. 
                        
--H

___________________________________UPDATE______________________________________

Gaichu is dead, I'm not at all sad to say.  Stephani is a lot braver than I am and... took care of it. 

I'm not sorry.



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The sh at the end stand for Stephani and Heather if you haven't guessed.

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